See this sweet baby? She loooooves it when my husband sings Barry White songs to her, and seriously who wouldn't, but that isn't what were talking about here today. If you have a weak stomach you might want to head over to Butterflies and Unicorns.com because well this is a doozy!
So I was watching "Sweet Baby" above for an hour or so while her daddy ran an errand. Let's preface this story by saying he didn't bring the diaper bag, or a single diaper, or a single wipe. Ok.....moving on. So I'm blissfully holding said baby and I hear a little rumbly in her tummy. Ok, I think to myself I'll just wait and see what happens. So then a little chooo chooo train toot emerges.....still safe and then it happens.....it started slow and manageable....and then the wee one sneezed...hard.....hay fever - honking - saved it up for days - sneeze. From there it was a blur of Exorcist like protrusions of epic proportions. Biblical Disaster amounts of flowing.......I don't even know the proper noun here.....let's just say there was baby p@@p flowing down my bare legs into my shoes into a large puddle on the floor with some wall damage as well. I was frozen into place only long enough to yell "Take my picture!!" But "Keys" who was working on the entry way could only stop gagging long enough to yell back, "Run! I'll get the door!" So I squishingly John Wayne walked her next door to her own home to give her a bath.
When a baby has a blow out of epic proportions how does one get the onsie off without fowling the rest of said baby's tummy, head, neck, face, and hair? I guess we'll never know. Cutting it off paramedic style? If I had purchased that onsie at the G-Dub I would have used the scissors. But I didn't so the fowling began. I bathed baby in the tub, left the mess for her daddy to clean up, put a new onsie on and trekked back to my house only to wait for her daddy to get her so I could scrub myself from head to toe. Twice.
If you are still reading and haven't gagged yourself thank my neighbor Nancy for telling me to blog about this little adventure! Thanks Nancy!
you poor thing!
ReplyDeleteEww. I feel bad for you, pooh messes are no fun. I thank my lucky stars we have not had any explosive diapers from my 11 month old. Maybe using cloth diapers helps, I don't know. I hope your wall and floor came out of the adventure unscathed? Ick.
ReplyDeleteI so remember those days! Great blog... keep on keepin' it real!
ReplyDeleteYou you readers think this is funny - try hearing the story in person. Dee is hysterical! Gotta love her!
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