Oh Dear...

This past Saturday night I finally got my Family Game Night! We played Scene It- The Seinfeld edition. My boys TIVO Seinfeld, and they seem to watch it 10 times a day, so that seemed perfect. Well let me just tell you that I kicked some serious hiney! So at the end of the game after I won in this nail biting finish barely in front of my younger son I exclaim,

Joan H@#$tt is the winner!......(Que record scratch)

What? Joan H@#$tt is my mom. (I kept her name private just in case of a Google search.....she has an important job you know!)

Sometimes I accidentally refer to myself with my maiden name even though I've been married for almost 20 years. But MY MOM?!

Mom, not only did I think you were 40, and I look exactly like you, but now I think I AM you!

I laughed so hard that I started to cry, but the good news is that I didn't keep crying because I was so embarrassed at these intermittent brain cramps! That's progress!

Weird.

Oh Dear...

What!

I'm doing better but here are some funny car moments I've had in the past few months.

I was driving home from the store, and I had this terrible panicked feeling that I was driving home with someone else's car that I found in the parking lot. Hmmm? Then....

I saw a policeman parked on the side of the road, and you know that paranoid feeling that you get in your stomach that you might be speeding so you check for the the flashing lights for the next 5 miles? Well I kept checking my gas gage and thinking ok good I have a half a tank I'm safe, then I would check it again just to make sure it was still half full so I wouldn't get a ticket. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I was checking the wrong gage on the dashboard. Whaaaa?

Dr. Shah please don't take my license away again, I'm sure these are isolated incidents! Right?

The GOOD news is that I realize these are a little off. If I didn't know then I would be in BIG TROUBLE. (I like to look on the bright side!)

What!

Simple Pleasures...

Ahhhh, I am feeling much better. I spent some time with my therapist, her name is Rowenta and she is pictured above. Some people yell at the kids, kick the dog, snarl to people on the phone. I iron.....everything.... Now I know this sounds sick to many of you but I know at least two readers who share my passion for the Rowenta and it's healing powers! (Hi Lisa K. and Mary!) This is NOT to be confused with Lisa R. who does not share my passion for the iron.

Now if you love to iron you have to get the Rowenta, it is a little pricey, but use the 20% off coupon to Bed Bath and Beyond that you have shoved in the glove compartment. While you're there search for this cleaner. It is magic! Don't ask me how I gunked up my iron, but this stuff took it right off!

My shirts are pressed and I am sooo much better now.

A few years ago one of my son's little friends was over and said, "You do some things in this house that we don't do in mine...." I was hesitant because we have Jewish customs and he has Christian customs, and I thought that it was going to be some uncomfortable religious discussion, so I said, "What things?" and he made an "ironing" motion and said, "You know that thing you do!"

Ohhhhh ironing!

Ironing is my simple pleasure!

(I don't want to hear "Simple Mind, Simple Pleasure". Just because I'm going through a "simple mind" phase doesn't mean it will last forever!)

Simple Pleasures...

So How Was Your Day?.....

Oh, thank you for asking. I try not to make this blog all sunshine and unicorns, but if you think that I do this post will change your mind.
So....I woke up this morning with the world's worst sore throat. I'm a sore throat aficionado so I know the worst when I feel it. I think some store brand Daytime Cold Medicine seems like a good idea. So I took some.
Well, when your neurologist says, no mind-altering substances like alcohol or caffeine he should throw in the Daytime Cold Medicine. Because guess what? I felt like I had ingested about a kilo of Cryst*l M*th. I'm not kidding. I told my husband that maybe I needed to go to the ER for the Cryst*l M*th antidote if one existed. And that if he came home from work and I had moved to a trailer park and stopped wearing a bra he would know why! (Why would you purposely do this to yourself? I can't imagine!! That was NOT FUN!!)
It started to wear off a little, so I thought it was safe for me to run some errands. You know selfish stuff like returning one child's library book and buying another one at Barnes and Noble to replace the other one from school that he misplaced, buying groceries, putting gas in the car etc....
Now in the back of my speed-twitching mind I remember that I have to pick up my older son for batting practice at 2:80......yeah you read it right. So at 2:50 I get the frantic phone call, WHERE ARE YOU? I'm thinking I have time, whats the hysteria? As the clock clicks 3:00 I realize that there is no such thing as 2:80. He doesn't speak to me all the way to the batting cages. (He was on time by the way, but don't let that little detail curtail his breakdown.) Because of that delay, on the way to pick up my younger son my phone rings and he says, "Mom do we need to go over the "No Child Left Behind Policy" AGAIN! He's funny that one. It is then that he decides that we need to have the ever-popular, "How come I can't have rated Mature Video Games when everyone else does" argument for the bajillionth time this week.
I would like to go to bed now please. Good night. (Oh yeah not only is there no such thing as 2:80. I thought 2:80 was ten minutes before 3:00. Still not right. My math is still a little off.)
How was your day?

So How Was Your Day?.....

Brain Dysfunction

Don't ask me how this blog went from Brain Dysfunction to my Goodwill obsession but maybe the two are related. A friend said that maybe finding something that I'm good at: re-finishing furniture, re-purposing things, enjoying my home, and sticking with it is making me feel better. Maybe she's right. I don't know. My brain is better, but took a back-slide about a week ago. Don't ask me why, nothing has really changed, but my old "brain tricks" came back. I think that it will come and go, so I'm not to worried about it. Who needs to know that it is 2010 anyway. (Just typing it seems weird.) Oh and if someone should say "Twenty-Ten" I think, "isn't that 30?" What the heck are they talking about!?

Crazy I know.

Brain Dysfunction

Time

I put this Time Display on our table for our New Year's Eve Dinner. I was looking for an hourglass to add, but I couldn't find one. dang it. Time has an interesting meaning to me. I have been re-learning time for the last 9 months or so. I can "tell time" in hours and minutes. It's days, months and years that are a little tricky for me.

I love that the clock on the left has Time printed on the face. It probably was a gift for a subscription to Time Magazine. I picked up the candlesticks and the clocks from my favorite boutique The GW. (That's the Goodwill for all of you new readers.)
We celebrated a Norwegian New Year, (I figure if it is good enough for Lisa R. it is good enough for me! She and I could seriously ring in the new year when we were younger!) and I fell asleep at 9:00. Man I am old!

Time

He Said What?

The other day my younger son was creating my Wii person. Blond hair, blue eyes, on and on, then I hear him ask my adorable husband, "Dad, if you could sum up mom in one word what would it be?" My ears perked right up. I was waiting for the answer, thinking about all of the wonderfulness that I am. How is he going to choose....I can't wait! It isn't everyday that you get to hear a candid answer between father and son.....And so he said it. The one word that sums me up.


Clumsy.........


Wait what?! That's weird, it sounded like he said clumsy... So I come strolling around the corner and say, Name one thing that made clumsy come to mind, of all things!! He sweetly says, honey you fell down in the front yard yesterday, and you crashed down the stairs twice in the past six months (but I didn't spill one drop of the latte I was carrying!)AND you have a slight dropping problem. That is just rude. But true. Once I began to slip down the airplane stairs in freezing rain in Denver, basically did the splits, tore the knee of my favorite jeans on the way down, and my two boys stepped over me and acted like they didn't know me. I gave birth to them. One of them was almost 9 pounds... ingrates!


OOpsie....Well then there was this (dropped it the first time I used it-not fixable)

Right between the fingers! This was an unfortunate event of late.

Dang it!

He Said What?

Time

Time is defined as: a nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.

What?!

No wonder I don't get it. That may have confused you as well. I recently lost my perception of time. This can scare you at first, but in the scheme of life does it really matter that much? When my perception of time left, it was replaced with a nice gift. Calmness. I don't have that crazy, I'm running out of time! Someone needs a lunch packed NOW!! The uniforms need to be cleaned RIGHT NOW!!! It doesn't bother me because I just don't get the panic. I'm pretty lucky if you ask me. The lunches are packed and the uniforms are clean because I didn't get to leave the house unsupervised for SIX entire months. In that six months of no driving I gained a sense of calmness for lack of a better word. I'm not rushed inside of my brain. (Does that make sense) I'm not this happy housewife that needs everything perfect at all times, all unicorns and butterflies. I'm really not. BUT I gained the value of being at home, and enjoying every minute of it.

After the accident happened the doctor told me to call in some favors, "because I was going to need some help." He wanted me to say NO. No to the charities that I was working with, NO to driving my children here and there, NO to cooking unsupervised, NO to anyone and everything that was not of utmost importance. I had to call my parents in to take care of me and my family for a few weeks. They came right away and helped me......(fill in all of the blanks here) cooking, cleaning,...I don't really know what. Everything I guess is the right word. I realized that the boys got home from school, the charities ran without me, dinner got on the table, and everyone was taken care of.

I know that most people don't have the option to take six months off and say NO to everyone but those living inside your own house. It really changed my perception of being rushed. Rushed to do what?

Rushed left. He is not missed.

Time

Did I just think that?

So I'm trying to operate with a brain that isn't functioning well. I used to get upset and now I just have to laugh with the craziness of it all. Here is an example. The other day my husband said:

"How old is your dad?"

I said, "Well, my mom is 40, so my dad must be 44 or 45."

It took me a few minutes to realize that my math was a little off. I'm 41. On the bright side, my mother was thrilled that I thought she was 40!

Numbers and time still seem to allude me, but I'm working on it! I practice the date by writing it out every morning. The written way and then the numbers. That sounds so ridiculous, until you lose your ability to know what day it is. Crazy I know.

Did I just think that?

The title says it all.....

September the March is a perfect title for me. I was in a car accident a few months ago that thankfully I walked away from physically unharmed. My car was totalled, and I just had a few bruises. Fast forward a few days, and my memory began to play tricks on me. I was forgetting little things and BIG things. The fun began when I brought my son over to his friends house, came home, and promptly asked my husband when he was going to take him. You really should remember where you have left your children. Sooooo guess what? The doctors said no driving. NONE. No Target, no Starbucks, no nothin'. You thought that no driving sounded good for a second didn't you? Admit it.

When the memory left, it took my sense of time with it. Is it March, November, August? The date? Pick a number between 1 and 30. At least I know it is 2009 now, in the beginning I thought it was 1996. It was a good year, so I just went with it.

Which leads me to the time on my hands. Food Network, HGTV, Party Blogs, Design Blogs, you get the picture. My doctor decided to let me drive a little, and he also suggested working my brain by reading more, and writing more. So I've decided to read lots of blogs and recipes, and blog them back to you. I know, right?! You can't wait to see what's next. Well, you are going to have to wait until tomorrow.

I got to go to the Targe today and lookie what I found!

Jealous?

The title says it all.....