St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

Lighting a candle in Crystal's memory.

I went to visit my friend Crystal's Memory Garden today at the Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden, Colorado. My friends Ellen and Paula and I met with Crystal's mom for breakfast (serious carb loading!) and discussed our feelings about Crystal and what she meant to us. We all know it is still very hard for her mom to live on day to day when she misses Crystal so terribly. As moms we cannot begin to fathom her loss. We shared tears and pancakes with the hopes of making some sense out of this terrible loss. As we shared our feelings about God and tragedies, we all tried to explain where we were in all of this. We are all over the place it seems.

I was dumbfounded when I returned home and searched for the Mother Cabrini prayer and read:

My Jesus, I have not always recognized your loving plans for me. Every day,with the help of your light,I learn more of your loving care. Continue to increase my awareness of the gentleness of your loving plans. I want to follow the purpose for which I was created. See, I am in your hands. I need you to help me choose the best way to serve you. Walk with me, Jesus. Stay by my side and guide me!

Crystal and her mother are Catholic, but the rest of us are not. But I really felt like the prayer says a lot about our conversation at breakfast. The mysteries of life are way bigger than we can fathom. It is amazing that our conversation was exactly about trying to figure out how to learn from Crystal's life and legacy.

Alma (Crystal's Mom) Ellen, Me, and Paula

When we ventured out to the shrine I noticed a smaller shrine located in a garden. The name of the shrine was "Sorrowful Mysteries" and that just about sums it up.

Her plaque in the wall of memories.

At Crystal's funeral (a year ago) there were doves released in her memory. As we kissed the dove goodbye it really did feel like we were letting her go fly away. It was the hardest part of the day by far, I didn't want to let her go, but I know she really is all around us. Today, when I got home from the shrine I decided to search the internet about Mother Cabrini this is what I found.

"Villagers and members of the family recalled later that just before her birth a flock of white doves circled around high above the house, and one of them dropped down to nestle in the vines that covered the walls.
The father took the bird, showed it to his children, then released it to fly away."

I had goosebumps reading it. I still do.